Monthly Archives: March 2012

Man Up for Your Lady Friends

If you have a Y chromosome and live in Arizona, pay attention:

(Aside to Ross: Having a Y chromosome means you’re a dude – FYI.)

The Arizona Senate is scheduling a re-vote on HB2625 – the bill that would allow any employer to opt out of covering contraception through their insurance plan for “moral or religious” reasons, requiring an employee (or their spouse) to approach the insurer directly with an affidavit showing the woman needs hormonal birth control for reasons other than pregnancy prevention, because the insurer of the morally objecting employer won’t have to cover contraception for pregnancy prevention.

Please note, Arizona already has a law on the books that allows religious institutions such as churches to opt out of contraception coverage when it is in direct opposition to their religious teachings. HB2625 would expand this exemption to any employer for any moral reason.

The bill was defeated 17-13 in the Senate on March 28 when seven Republicans joined Democrats in voting it down – but it’s not dead yet. Those seven Republicans need your help – and so do the ladies.

Continue reading Man Up for Your Lady Friends

Love is Love

I married one of my best friends on Friday.

Actually, she married her fiancé, about 3 years and 3 months after I introduced them, set them up on their first date and then took them on their first date. On Friday, I just closed the deal – officiating their wedding ceremony in my new role as a licensed minister.

The Pastor of Disaster. The Sinister Minister. The Right Reverend of Wrong – I answer to them all, because I am – as of October 11, 2011 – a fully ordained, licensed minister, authorized under Title 25, Article 3, Section 125 of the Arizona Revised Statutes to perform a marriage ceremony in the Grand Canyon State.

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CSI: Coolidge Scene Investigators

The victim appeared to be a 110-pound Rhodesian Ridgeback

If you ever have to dispose of a body, do yourself a favor and don’t chop it up and transport it in the back of you car. Just ditch the car – wipe the prints and roll it off a mountaintop.

I can assure you: The trunk of your car will never be the same after it’s housed a dead body. The clean-up is long, loud and ultimately impossible. There will be blood – lots of it – and some day far in the future when you’re thinking you’ve managed to escape the long arm of justice, some crafty crime scene investigator or blood-spatter analyst will come along and bust your ass¹ for busting a cap in someone else’s ass.

I know this because Pat and I spent $354.31 and two hours last night cleaning up the aftermath of Coolidge Carnage™.

Those of you who are faint of heart may not want to read on or access our Gallery of Gore™.

Continue reading CSI: Coolidge Scene Investigators