stacy b-log

ONLY ONE MORE WEEK - JUST SEVEN DAYS! HOW WILL WE EVER MAKE IT!

WHAT: 5th Annual Krewe of Helios-Arizona Mardi Gras Party and Parade
WHEN: Saturday, February 26, 2006. 5:00 PM - 11:00 PM
WHERE: Krewe of Helios-Arizona World Headquarters
24952 North 74th Place, Scottsdale Arizona
NEED DIRECTIONS?
click here for map

Queen Catherine Leatham and her king Dagger Dave invite you to attend the fifth annual Krewe of Helios-Arizona Mardi Gras Parade and Party - the only official Mardi Gras parade in the Grand Canyon State!

Want to enter the parade and get an official T-shirt? Want to learn more about our illusive Grand Marshal? Want to know what you can bring? Want to know where to park? Keep reading to learn more!

KREWE OF HELIOS-AZ FAQ'S FOR THE UNINITIATED MARDI GRAS REVELERS

1) So what's this parade all about? The Krewe of Helios-AZ Mardi Gras parade is a REAL Mardi Gras parade - we're even listed on the national calendar when their web site is working. In its simplest, most elegant form, we drive around our cul de sac throwing beads at our friends until we run out of beads or decide it's too much of a pain to circumnavigate the cul de sac with a seven-car parade. Ours is the easiest way for you to catch authentic Mardi Gras beads without having to take off your clothes or hop a plane to New Orleans.

2) When should I arrive to get a good spot on the parade route? ARRIVE ON TIME AT 5 PM. We do not have the necessary permits to stage a parade so usually it lasts about 20 minutes, after which everyone runs in the house to eat. If you arrive on time, you'll be able to catch beads AND you will be fed. If you're late, you're outta luck.

3) How can I enter a float in the parade and get an official T-shirt? Simple, get to the house at 4:30 PM to decorate and load your float with beads and goodies. Each float will receive one official Krewe of Helios-AZ 2006 T-shirt. Floats will be judged by our Queen and King of Mardi Gras, Catherine and David Leatham, in consultation with our official Grand Marshal (to be named later, see Question 4). The "Best in Show" Float will receive an official Mardi Gras jester hat.

4) So who's the Grand Marshal and why does the Governor's office want to detain you, Stacy? Excellent question! They think we're stalkers - which, given the evidence, is an easy assumption to make. (See Krewe of Helios-AZ Begs Governor to be Grand Marshall blog entry; see also "gift bag" left at KJZZ for said Governor during a recent on-air interview; see also our request for an autographed photo of her). Suffice it to say, we asked the Governor to be our Grand Marshal. Her office said she had a "prior commitment" and then promptly assigned us to a top-secret government-watch list. Either way, we're hoping someone from her office will show up to be our Grand Marshal. Otherwise, we're going to tape a picture of her to our SHRINE O JANET, stick it on a float and drive her photo around - unless we're detained in a top-secret facility at the State Capitol that weekend, which means the parade would be moot.

5) What if it rains? What is this "rain" you ask about? Is it the wet substance that occasionally falls from the sky? If so, we're still having the parade, kiddos. They parade in the rain in New Orleans. We'll parade in the rain in Arizona. In fact, maybe having a parade instigate a downpour - we hope so! Then the Governor would have to hold us responsible for bringing rain to our drought-parched state and maybe she'll show up for the parade (after they imprison us in a top-secret detention facility).

6) Where should I park? Though we are NOT encouraging you to trespass, allow us to suggest "Santuario" - a new neighborhood that is being built at the end of our cul de sac. From Scottsdale Road, go east on Happy Valley (as if you're driving to our house), but then make your FIRST right on 73rd Place into the Santuario neighborhood. Take your first left and drive to the end of the road, or the nearest parking spot. Turn off car. Lock your doors. Exit car and head NORTHEAST to the end of the road, then through the dirt. On the other side of the dirt is the end of the North 74th Place cul de sac (OUR STREET!). Walk up our street to the last house on the WEST side of the road. You'll recognize it by the gaudy Mardi Gras decor. We're discouraging people from parking on North 74th Place (our street) because it's really hard to navigate the parade through a lot of parked cars.

7) What can I bring? Bring yourself and a friend and BE ON TIME! If you feel that's not enough, we need beverages, ice, ice chests and ESPECIALLY lawn chairs. We will be feeding you, but if you'd like to bring a dessert, feel free!

8) How can I be the Queen? Sample our delectable green, gold and purple King Cake. It looks like the product of a nuclear reaction, but it's really tasty. Inside one of the slices of King Cake is a small plastic baby doll. If you get the piece of cake with the baby (and don't choke to death) then you will be King or Queen of the 2007 parade!

9) I got there at 8 PM last year and there was no food left: What's up with that? Hey, I can't help it if our friends are gluttonous pigs. Our food is THAT good. On the menu this year is Gumbo, More Gumbo, Red Beans and Rice, and the MOST COVETED Muffalettas. The only way you can be assured of being fed is to ARRIVE ON TIME! ARRIVE AT FIVE AND YOUR TASTE-BUDS WILL THRIVE!

10) Is it true there will be celebrities and media coverage this year? If you count the Governor, then yes, there will be celebrities at our parade, as well as various on-air personalities from KJZZ and KBAQ public radio. And yes, 85255 magazine has indicated they will be covering the parade. Our staff paparazzo, Kirk Nelson, will also be taking photos for the official Krewe of Helios-Arizona 2006 photo album, so be nice to Kirk. And if the Governor or any other celebrities show up, please don't pet them or poke them with sticks or fall all over yourselves drooling. Their poop stinks just like yours. Act like you've been there before, kiddos!

Well, that's about everything: We can't wait to see you on Saturday, February 25th at 5 PM FOR THE FIFTH ANNUAL KREWE OF HELIOS-ARIZONA MARDI GRAS PARADE AND PARTY.

LAISSEZ LES BON TEMPS ROULEZ!

Posted by stacy at 08:15 AM | Permalink

As the Krewe of Helios-Arizona celebrates its momentous FIFTH Annual Mardi Gras Parade and Party, we decided to enhance the parade this year by creating the title of GRAND MARSHAL (it works for the Rose Parade - why not us?) So after searching long and hard, we settled upon one name that truly embodies the grandeur of the FIFTH ANNUAL PARADE: THE HONORABLE JANET NAPOLITANO, GOVERNOR OF THE GREAT STATE OF ARIZONA!

You can read our formal invitation below - as well as our PERSUASIVE top 10 reasons she should be the Grand Marshal of Our Fifth Annual Parade. You can also help the cause by sending her an email to beg her to attend:

http://www.governor.state.az.us/post/feedback.asp

And so without further ado, our formal invitation:

Dear Governor Napolitano,

The Krewe of Helios-Arizona do hereby invite you to be the Honorable Grand Marshal of our Fifth Annual Mardi Gras Parade.

As you may not be familiar with the Krewe of Helios-Arizona, we humbly submit that we are the only officially recognized Mardi Gras parading organization in the Grand Canyon State. (Historically we have been listed on the National Parade Calendar, managed by the New Orleans Times-Picayune, but they do not have national listings posted yet this year, so we're not listed... yet)

Our Fifth Annual Parade steps off on Saturday, February 25th at 5 PM, at the Krewe of Helios-Arizona World Headquarters: 24952 North 74th Place in Scottsdale.

As the Honorable Grand Marshal, your responsibilities include riding in the bed of a pickup truck and throwing beads at throngs of your constituents while the parade makes lap after historic lap around our cul de sac. (It usually takes only about 20 minutes because it's hard to drive seven cars around our cul de sac). You will also be required to decide, with the consultation of our Queen and King, the "Best in Show" float for our parade. (Winner will receive an authentic Mardi Gras jester hat). Afterward, we invite you to eat our authentic Louisiana gumbo, sample our King Cake, and drink the beverage of your choice. For your efforts, you will receive an official Krewe of Helios-Arizona commemorative T-Shirt, an official Krewe Kab bottle of wine, official saguaro cactus and chili pepper Mardi Gras beads, as well as all the gumbo you can eat (and we'll also feed your security detail).

Because you may find this to be an unsual request, we have listed the following VERY PERSUASIVE TOP 10 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD BE OUR HONORABLE GRAND MARSHAL:

10) Enjoy a day off work! You will not be the highest ranking state official at our Mardi Gras Parade - That honor goes to our Honorable Queen of Mardi Gras, Catherine Leatham.

9) Banish those nasty Mardi Gras stereotypes! You do not have expose your body parts to get beads - nor do any of our guests (because they generate visuals that, quite frankly, we'd rather do without). We are proud to say that ours is a family parade.

8) Hobnob with other celebrities! You will not be the most famous person at our Mardi Gras Parade - That honor goes to our sister-in-law, the actress, Valerie Bertinelli. Unfortunately, she has to attend; otherwise we'll tell Mom and Dad on her.

7) Revel in unique Arizona culture! Your responsibilities are pretty easy and very Arizona - after all, one look at the shoulders of our state freeways indicates that many of our fellow citizens are comfortable with throwing things out of the back of their pickup trucks.

6) Behold, your people! When was the last time you attended a house party with your constituents that didn't include a $500 per plate dinner? Our food's free - and we usually host about 100 voters at the parade, plus we voted for you!

5) Bask in your popularity! You can tell John McCain that he's not the most popular politician in the state: He was our second choice for Honorable Grand Marshal.

4) Enjoy a good time, legally! We promise we'll call the city of Scottsdale to secure the proper permits for the parade! Though we can't really vouch for contacting the Health Department about our gumbo. Suffice it to say, it's spicy enough to take the paint off the walls (and we do make our own roux).

3) Give your security detail a workout! Imagine how much fun they'll have running along side the pickup, dodging the flying elbows of joyous revelers as they try to capture the shower of beads. And then laugh as they catch their breath when you arrive at the end of the cul de sac and wait while we try to turn around all seven cars.

2) Relish the easiest campaign stop you've ever made! Your constituents will be waving and cheering and chanting your name, just because you're throwing them trinkets that are worth less than a penny a piece. That's what I call Campaign Gold! Plus, you can bring friends - and you'll probably even spot some friendly faces, like Anna Chavez from your office or Carl Matthusen from KJZZ (Stacy works for them, she has to invite him)

And the Number 1 Reason that You Should Accept Your Destiny and Become the Honorable Grand Marshal of Our Parade is....
1) When faced with a choice between celebrating Mardi Gras and spending a day with the State Legislature... well, would you really want to spend another afternoon with the State Legislature? Neither would we.

We humbly await your reply,
Sincerely,
Stacy and Patrick Bertinelli
Co-captains and Founders,
Krewe of Helios-Arizona

Laissez les bon temps roulez!

Posted by stacy at 08:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)