stacy b-log

First, we will outline definitions to ensure an accurate lingua franca for the discussion. I am referencing www.urbandictionary.com - a tremendous resource for those of us who are older than 30 and white (read: LAME).

Dubs are hubcaps that are 20 inches in diameter. The term "dub" is short for double - 20s being "double 10s" or "double dimes" (Dime = 10). The rims on the aforementioned MINI, aka, the Menacing MINI of Scottsdale, are 18-inch rims (please, do not make the egregious error of confusing rims with wheels). As 18s, the MINI rims are not true "dubs" - they are accurately referred to either as "sub-dubs" or "dubs minus deuces" (20s - 2s = 18s).

(Scratching heads) Clearly, some of you may not see the aesthetic beauty in aforementioned wheel decor, so please allow me to give you the 411 on Dub-Appreciation:

On the Menace, consider how said wheels (tires + rims) fill up the entire wheel well. Note how the black finish of the rims compliments the dark silver body color and black roof / side mirror details (and salivate as you imagine how our old-school black and red pinstriping will totally pimp out this unique whip!) But I digress. Compared to other MINIs and their feet (ground contact points / wheels), you can see how the larger proportioned wheels create a more masculine profile and racier appearance, i.e., if I park my MINI next to yours, mine will be the bully in the parking lot. (See, sweet Gayle and the Lemondrop at Changing Hands Bookstore)

Your homework assignment: Go forth into the universe and consider other wheels and rims thereupon that you encounter down the road. Some appear that they are spinning in the opposite direction of the car or still moving when the car is stationary (Spinners). Perhaps you will see 18-inch or bigger, shiny chrome rims that have three propeller-like spokes (Blades). Now that your eyes are open to the plethora of vehicular accessories, you will be amazed by the variety and loveliness (as well as the ungodly ugliness) that can be found cruising our nation's roadways, i.e., Check out how these homies roll.

Now, for those of you who have two X chromosomes and still don't get what all the fuss is about (and I used to be among you - until my eyes were opened to the indubitably beauteous coolness of dubs), an elegant analogy will suffice: (Pretend you're taking the SAT here, kids)

DUBS ARE TO CARS WHAT SHOES ARE TO FEET.

They are the Cole Haans, the Doc Martens, the Nikes, the Steve Maddens of automotive accoutrements. Truly, the Menacing MINI sub-dubs are the Manolos of the hubcap universe.

This concludes our lesson on dubs. Out.