THE MOST AWESOME AND ETHNICALLY OFFENSIVE SANDWICH IN THE UNIVERSE: MUFFALETTAS WITH WOP MIX
Ever since we introduced this item, it has become the must-have gnosh on the Krewe of Helios feedbag parade. That probably has to do with supply and demand - we supply only 48 of them. Yet more than 70 people demand them. Ergo, it's wise to drive or ride in a parade float so you can get in the front of the line and grab one of our amazing, unforgettable, clearly incredible and sublimely edible...
KREWE OF HELIOS-ARIZONA MUFFALETTA SANDWICHES - These are Italian sandwiches that originated in New Orleans. In some parts of the country, they serve 'em cold. We like ours warm because there's nothing like cheesy goodness melted just so with a slight crunch to your crusty bread. Now our traditional Mardi Gras recipe makes 48 slider-sized sandwiches, and I was tempted to be mean and give you the recipe for 48 because the uncanny math makes EXACTLY 48 sandwiches with nothing leftover. But I'm not that mean (just ask my husband). So here's how you make just one... that can serve four - and please note, vegetarians and members of the Tribe, if you ditch the meat and cheese, you could survive on Wop Mix* and bread alone...
TOOLS FOR THE MOST AWESOME MUFFALETTAS
food processor with chopper (we use our Cuisinart little pro with "pulse" function)
plastic container
two cookie sheets
clean, small paint brush or basting brush
small ramekin or bowl
INGREDIENTS FOR THE MOST AWESOME MUFFALETTAS - HARDWARE
- 4 ounces of deli sliced turkey
- 4 ounces of deli sliced ham
- 4 ounces of hard salami (about 3-4 inches in diameter)
- half-bag of grated mozzerella
- one loaf of crusty bread, 8-inches round, like a ciabatta or french round (We like Simply Bread - they're locally owned; they're a public radio underwriter, and AJs carries their loaves)
- 2-3 tablespoons of olive oil, in your ramekin
- ONE BOX OF CRACKERS (trust us - especially if you're vegetarian)
INGREDIENTS FOR THE MOST AWESOME MUFFALETTAS - SOFTWARE - aka WOP MIX*
*I'm sorry to have offended my fellow Italian-Americans, but this is what they call it. Own it - because it is all goodness and wonderment. It is a point of pride - and after you eat it, you'll know why - but if you're sensitive and politically correct, I guess you could call it "tapenade" though that's a lot like calling grits "polenta." Then again if you are politically correct, you probably aren't reading this anyway. Onward...
- Half a 24-ounce jar of pitted green olives
- 1 can of pitted black olives
- About a quarter of a 24-ounce jar of Italian giardineira mix (the spicy carrots, peppers, pickles and cauliflower)
- 6-8 cloves of garlic, coarsely chopped
- 1-2 fresh jalapenos, diced
- optional squeeze of lemon juice
DIRECTIONS FOR MAKING THE MOST AWESOME WOP MIX FOR MOST AWESOME MUFFALETTAS
Our food processor is relatively small and I think that's helpful because we can stay on top of the consistency for our Wop Mix. I like finely chopped but not paste-like gruel. Strive to see the colors of the chopped bits. Basically, you're going to start with about four spoonfuls of green olives, a spoonful of black olives, a spoonful of Italian mix, a small spoon of garlic and a small spoon of jalapeno in your food processor and grind 'em up in quick PULSE blasts - don't just leave the processor running while you dump this stuff in. PULSE IT. Once you have a carnival of chopped-up color, transfer that to your plastic container. Repeat the process until you've exhausted the black olives, green olives, garlic and jalapenos. The Italian mix doesn't need to be completely consumed - you just want it in there like a little firecracker of goodness. I'll drizzle a little bit of olive oil over the end result - maybe a teaspoon full just to make a slightly smooth consistency. If you like a little "tang," squeeze a slice of lemon into the finished Wop Mix and stir it up. Grab a cracker from your BOX OF CRACKERS and shovel up that wholesome goodness: Mmmm, yeah, that's right, baby. Now, cover the container and put your Wop Mix in the fridge because you don't want to eat it all before you finish your sandwich (unless you're vegetarian or Jewish or Muslim or you think pigs are filthy animals, in which case: STOP HERE AND KEEP EATING THAT WOP MIX). Know this: The Wop Mix recipe makes a lot more than you'll need for your sandwich. We do that on purpose.
DIRECTIONS FOR ASSEMBLING THE MOST AWESOME MUFFALETTAS
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Put your cookie sheets on the counter, side by side. Slice the loaf of bread in half so you have a TOP and BOTTOM. Put the top (soft side up, crusty side down) on one cookie sheet and paint the soft side surface with olive oil. Put the bottom (soft side up, crusty side down) on the other cookie sheet. Add your meat to the bottom side. We like to "crinkle" up the meat so there's a lot of space and air in it. Otherwise you end up with a slab of meat and it takes a while to heat. Doesn't really matter what order you put the meat on, just put the all the meat on top of the bread, while creating a relatively even surface. Now, pull what's left of your Wop-Mix out of the refrigerator and spoon it all across the top of your meaty surface. Now, sprinkle on that grated mozzarella - actually, sprinkle is too dainty a word - SHOVEL on that cheesy goodness. Put the bottom in the oven and let it heat up for about 10-15 minutes. You want the cheese to melt and you want the ends of the meat to brown and start to curl up. Just as the cheese is starting to melt, put your top in the oven and let that toast around the outside. It should all come together at the end. Attach top to bottom, cut into fourths and give thanks to the Krewe of Helios-Arizona for sharing the wholesome goodness that is Louisiana cooking with you and your family.
What's that you say? You want the recipe for 48 slider-sized sandwiches? OK, smarty pants - have at it:
INGREDIENTS FOR THE MOST AWESOME MUFFALETTAS - 48 OF 'EM - HARDWARE
- 1.5 pounds of deli sliced turkey
- 1.5 pounds of deli sliced ham
- 1 pound of hard salami (about 3-4 inches in diameter)
- 1 pound bag of grated mozzerella
- Four 12-count bags of French bread dinner rolls (you see where this is going)
- 1 cup of olive oil in your ramekin
- In this instance, we skip the crackers because you're going to run out of Wop Mix. Sorry. You asked for it.
INGREDIENTS FOR THE MOST AWESOME MUFFALETTAS - 48 OF 'EM - SOFTWARE
See above. It's the same count.
DIRECTIONS FOR ASSEMBLING THE MOST AWESOME MUFFALETTAS - 48 OF 'EM
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Put your cookie sheets on the counter, side by side (by side by side by side - you'll probably need about 4 cookie sheets or 4 big aluminum roasting pans). Slice the rolls in half so you have 48 tops and bottoms - I'd recommend you put all the tops in one bag and all the bottoms in another just to keep track of them. Put the tops (soft side up, crusty side down) on one (or 2 or 3) cookie sheets and paint the soft side surfaces with olive oil. Put the bottoms (soft side up, crusty side down) on the other cookie sheets. Add one slice of turkey, one slice of ham and one slice of salami to each bottom. This time, lay 'em flat because you don't have a lot of space. Doesn't really matter what order you put the meat on, just put the all the meat on top of the bread, while creating a relatively even surface. Now, pull what's left of your Wop-Mix out of the refrigerator and spoon one tablespoon-sized dollop of wop-mix per bottom. Now, sprinkle on that grated mozzarella. Put the bottoms in the oven and let it heat up for about 10 minutes. You want the cheese to melt because if you go too long, your rolls will get hard. Just as the cheese is starting to melt, put your top in the oven and let that toast around the outside. It should all come together at the end. Attach tops to bottoms, serve them with tongs and be prepared to plate them like your hair's on fire because they'll go fast. Then give thanks to the Krewe of Helios-Arizona for sharing the wholesome goodness that is Louisiana cooking with you and your family.
Laissez les bon temps roulez!