Yearly Archives: 2006

All About Dubs, or Hip-Hop Automobilia Translated

adventure, creative

Gotta hot new ride to replace the Porsche, and with it, I have learned that clothes do indeed make the man… or in this case, the MINI.
Check out the dubs on our tight new ride…

Now I realize that those of you not familiar with the vehicular arts might be saying, “Gee, Stacy, I’m not sure I get the whole deal with hubcaps.” Or, if you’re my Dad, you’re saying “What does the president have to do with your wheels?”
Which is why I am here to educate you about my latest foray into the hip-hop universe: All About Dubs.
Please, my homies, read on…

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Rhapsodizing in Blue: Bye-bye, Porsche

adventure, creative

She’s a lotta hot car: Our lapis blue 2002 Porsche Boxster S.
The first summer we had her, Pat is driving us home from a leisurely Sunday dinner at my boss’s house. We pull up to a stop light – front row – at Tatum and Bell. Next to us pulls up a Camaro, and beside him, a Plymouth Prowler arrives late to the party. The Camaro revs his engine. The Plymouth follows suit. The windows slide down on either side of the Camaro and in a high falsetto, the driver says, “LOTTA HOT CARS, HEEEEEEEERE.”
I buckle my seatbelt and pull my ballcap close around my ears. “Just don’t miss a shift,” I offer to Pat, who is already working his grip on the steering wheel and glancing up at the traffic light above us.
GREEN! GREEN! GREEN! The Camaro – good ol’ American V8 love – thunders out of the blocks, and by the time we hit fourth, we’ve passed him. The Plymouth an afterthought at the stoplight. We’re braiding traffic, shaking the Camaro and running out of lane, when out of no where a Mitsubishi Eclipse with a neon undercarriage flashes past. I believe in street parlance, this means, “It’s on.” Pat guns through the shoulder, cutting off a poky Volkswagen, to get to the on-ramp.
Pat has the accelerator pinned to the floor but we can’t pull the Eclipse. In the wind, we smell nitrous. His plates read “SPOOL UP.” The MItsubishi finally slows to give us a hearty thumbs up, as we coast back down to the speed limit in search of an exit so we can vanish into the night. He’ll have to tell all his buddies: He beat a Porsche.
Though we’ve had many adventures – both inside and outside the law – it’s time to say, “Bye-Bye,” to our sweet girl. The lease is up tomorrow on our “lotta hot car.”

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KREWE OF HELIOS-AZ MARDI GRAS: FEB 25!

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ONLY ONE MORE WEEK – JUST SEVEN DAYS! HOW WILL WE EVER MAKE IT!
WHAT: 5th Annual Krewe of Helios-Arizona Mardi Gras Party and Parade
WHEN: Saturday, February 26, 2006. 5:00 PM – 11:00 PM
WHERE: Krewe of Helios-Arizona World Headquarters
24952 North 74th Place, Scottsdale Arizona
NEED DIRECTIONS?
click here for map
Queen Catherine Leatham and her king Dagger Dave invite you to attend the fifth annual Krewe of Helios-Arizona Mardi Gras Parade and Party – the only official Mardi Gras parade in the Grand Canyon State!
Want to enter the parade and get an official T-shirt? Want to learn more about our illusive Grand Marshal? Want to know what you can bring? Want to know where to park? Keep reading to learn more!

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Krewe of Helios-AZ Begs Governor to Preside over Parade

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As the Krewe of Helios-Arizona celebrates its momentous FIFTH Annual Mardi Gras Parade and Party, we decided to enhance the parade this year by creating the title of GRAND MARSHAL (it works for the Rose Parade – why not us?) So after searching long and hard, we settled upon one name that truly embodies the grandeur of the FIFTH ANNUAL PARADE: THE HONORABLE JANET NAPOLITANO, GOVERNOR OF THE GREAT STATE OF ARIZONA!
You can read our formal invitation below – as well as our PERSUASIVE top 10 reasons she should be the Grand Marshal of Our Fifth Annual Parade. You can also help the cause by sending her an email to beg her to attend:
http://www.governor.state.az.us/post/feedback.asp
And so without further ado, our formal invitation:

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KREWE OF HELIOS-AZ CELEBRATES MARDI GRAS

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WHAT: 5th Annual Krewe of Helios-Arizona Mardi Gras Party and Parade
WHEN: Saturday, February 26, 2006. 5:00 PM – 11:00 PM
WHERE: Krewe of Helios-Arizona World Headquarters
24952 North 74th Place, Scottsdale Arizona
NEED DIRECTIONS?
click here for map
Queen Catherine Leatham and her king Dagger Dave invite you to attend the fifth annual Krewe of Helios-Arizona Mardi Gras Parade and Party – the only official Mardi Gras parade in the Grand Canyon State!
Come eat our gumbo, drink our beer, catch our beads and raise a glass to the Pelican State as we celebrate Louisiana culture and try to purge ourselves of those six harrowing words that no Cajun, coon-ass or ‘Yat ever wants to hear again: BROWNIE, YOU’VE DONE A HECKUVA JOB!
Come witness the pageantry of our fourth annual parade as it makes several historic laps around the North 74th Place cul de sac – you’re sure to catch tons of beads as I guarantee our parade is slower than a FEMA ice truck. And no, we don’t earn our beads by removing our clothing – this is Scottsdale, not Babe’s Cabaret, people (oh wait, that is Scottsdale!) You are, however, welcome to ENTER your float in our fabulous parade, competing for valuable prizes (OK, a cool Mardi Gras pimp-hat) as you attempt to unseat defending parade champions, Chris and Kristi Walsh, and their 2005 entry: Mardi Paws.
If you’d like to enter the parade, be at the house at 4:30 PM to load your float with beads and to receive your official KREWE OF HELIOS-ARIZONA 2006 T-SHIRT.
Step off for the parade is 5 PM sharp!
If you’re not there at 5, I guarantee you’ll miss it, because (as if we have to remind you) WE DON’T HAVE THE NECESSARY PERMITS TO HAVE A PARADE. Thus, we’re going to make our historic loops around the cul de sac until we run out of beads, and then retreat inside faster than Brownie headed for half-price margaritas at Happy Hour!
See you Saturday, February 25, 2006!
Laissez les bon temps roulez!
Patrick and Stacy Bertinelli
Krewe of Helios-Arizona Captains
Questions? Email stacy@patandstacy.com