{"id":355,"date":"2011-02-23T06:32:21","date_gmt":"2011-02-23T13:32:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/patandstacy.com\/blog\/?p=355"},"modified":"2018-08-11T08:09:09","modified_gmt":"2018-08-11T15:09:09","slug":"krewe-of-helios-arizona-ix-03-05-11","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/patandstacy.com\/blog\/2011\/02\/23\/krewe-of-helios-arizona-ix-03-05-11\/","title":{"rendered":"Krewe of Helios-Arizona IX, 03.05.11"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Yes, you’re still our friends… and no, you didn’t offend us when you threw up in the gumbo pot… and honestly, you didn’t get blacklisted when you sparked our first-ever police visit for your awesome (illegal) parking job… and it’s OK, really, our friend the paramedic didn’t mind resuscitating you after you licked the hottest substance known to mankind – and hey, at least you didn’t have to go to the emergency room.<\/p>\n

So, no, don’t worry: you didn’t miss\u00a0THE NINTH ANNUAL KREWE OF HELIOS-ARIZONA MARDI GRAS PARADE AND PARTY<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Mardi Gras is late this year – Fat Tuesday is March 8 – which means our annual parade of Louisiana goodness and gluttony rolls at 4 PM on Saturday, March 5, 2011.<\/p>\n

Queen Hilda Marchetti and her King Wes (if she’ll still have him) and the Krewe of Helios-Arizona invite you to our annual pageant of wackiness:<\/p>\n

Saturday, March 5, 2011<\/p>\n

4PM-10PM (and if you think you’re staying any later than that, you haven’t seen Stacy when it’s bed-time)<\/p>\n

Krewe of Helios-Arizona World Headquarters (24952 N 74th Place, Scottsdale, AZ 85255)<\/a><\/p>\n

We’re from Louisiana. The Saints won the Super Bowl – Yes, we realize it was last year but we still have it on the DVR so we can re-live every last moment in super slo-mo (Onside kick! Genius!). Tony Hayward<\/a> has gotten his life back – and most of the Gulf Coast is getting its life back after Tony’s little oil-soaked debacle. So, we figured we might as well throw a party (actually, we’ve been doing this every year for the last nine years, as we are the first official Mardi Gras Krewe in the Grand Canyon State).<\/p>\n

What’s that? You say you don’t know what a krewe<\/a> is? If this is your first rodeo, you can read more detailed instructions on parade etiquette here<\/a> and here<\/a>. But because the Krewe of Helios-Arizona Legal Department requires it, here is the quick run down of disclaimers:<\/p>\n

1) Arrive on time (4 PM) and you will be fed. We have vegetarian \/ quasi-kosher grits and red-beans-and-rice (as in, I can assure you that I didn’t cook bacon in this pot TODAY but that’s not to say it hasn’t been cooked there before and wasn’t washed previously, but we try not to cross-contaminate). We will also be serving authentic Krewe of Helios-Arizona gumbo (now, with bacon grease)<\/a>, bacon-garlic-jalapeno-cheese grits<\/a>, and red-beans-and-rice<\/a>.<\/p>\n

1.5) Don’t choke on the baby interred in the King Cake. We’re not cannibals – but if you want to wear a fancy crown like Queen Hilda, keep an eye out for the plastic baby interred within the sugary lusciousness.<\/p>\n

2) Bring a lawn chair as seating is limited – see Item 5. Bring ice if you’re feeling generous.<\/p>\n

3) Bring your beverage of choice if you don’t like hurricanes – and we do have non-alcoholic options for the young people.<\/p>\n

4) Don’t disrobe for the parade – we have plenty of beads for you and your kids to catch without your having to share your prodigious man-boobs. This is a family parade… and while we fully support nursing moms and their right to breast-feed<\/a>, it’s kinda hard to do while flailing one’s arms about in an attempt to catch Mardi Gras beads.<\/p>\n

5) If you sit on the couch and it smells like fresh dog-butt, that must mean our new couch hasn’t arrived yet. As you’re moving to a less fragrant seating area, just know that we scrubbed that cushion for days before giving up and deciding to replace the couch entirely. Fortunately, colitis in dogs is a treatable disease – so make sure you find our veterinarian, Dr. Jeff Brown (he’s the one with the hurricane and he’s likely double-parked) and thank him. Oh, and don’t feed the dogs rib-bones<\/a> or king cake or gumbo or grits or red beans, no matter how pathetic they look at you.<\/p>\n

6) Safety and security – We don’t know everyone that comes to our parade. In fact this year, the son-we-never-wanted (and 2011 logo designer) Ross Loftin is bringing some of his young-people friends… and you know how young people can be (He assures me that he won’t be dressed as a carnie). So be smart about your personal items. Lock your purse in the trunk of your car. Don’t drink and drive. Don’t park on Happy Valley Road.<\/p>\n

7) If you want a T-shirt, decorate your car, shopping cart, bicycle or wagon and participate in our parade. The route takes an epic tour around the historic North 74th Place cul-de-sac. We’ll make about 5 laps and then head inside for food. I hope you can join us… and as they say in Louisiana:<\/p>\n

LAISSEZ LES BON TEMPS ROULER!<\/p>\n

Sincerely,<\/p>\n

Stacy and Patrick Bertinelli<\/p>\n

Krewe of Helios-Arizona Captains<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Yes, you’re still our friends… and no, you didn’t offend us when you threw up in the gumbo pot… and honestly, you didn’t get blacklisted when you sparked our first-ever police visit for your awesome (illegal) parking job… and it’s OK, really, our friend the paramedic didn’t mind resuscitating you after you licked the hottest … Continue reading Krewe of Helios-Arizona IX, 03.05.11<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-355","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-food"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/patandstacy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/355","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/patandstacy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/patandstacy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/patandstacy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/patandstacy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=355"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/patandstacy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/355\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2029,"href":"https:\/\/patandstacy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/355\/revisions\/2029"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/patandstacy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=355"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/patandstacy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=355"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/patandstacy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=355"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}