{"id":79,"date":"2009-07-29T20:58:55","date_gmt":"2009-07-29T20:58:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/patandstacy.com\/blog\/?p=79"},"modified":"2009-07-29T20:58:55","modified_gmt":"2009-07-29T20:58:55","slug":"more-on-the-most-important-safety-tip-ever","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/patandstacy.com\/blog\/2009\/07\/29\/more-on-the-most-important-safety-tip-ever\/","title":{"rendered":"More on the Most Important Safety Tip… Ever"},"content":{"rendered":"

Went to the doctor for my follow-up exam – thrilled to have made it two full weeks without putting anything in my vagina. Fortunately, because I followed the MOST IMPORTANT SAFETY TIP… EVER<\/a>, my parts are healing up quite nicely… so I had to compliment my doctor on her excellent advice.
\n“You know, I thought your post-op instructions were awesome – I mean, there’s no misunderstanding involved at all with: DON’T PUT ANYTHING IN YOUR VAGINA.<\/em><\/strong> I thought that was hilarious.”
\n“Well, it’s not a joke. You’d think when we told people not to have sex or use tampons for two weeks that they would have figured it out, but no, we had a woman who did some damage with a really large dildo. So we had to be very clear.”
\nErgo, anything.
\n“So what’s the strangest thing you’ve ever found in a vagina?”
\n“Me?” she looked up from the modesty drape and thought for a moment. “Toothpaste.”
\n“Toothpaste,” I said. “Guess she was going for that minty fresh feel.”
\n“I had no idea. I couldn’t figure that one out – toothpaste.”
\nShe must’ve had a really bad cavity.
\n(Be sure to tip your waiters and waitresses – we’ll be here all week. Hat-tip to Pat for that one.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Went to the doctor for my follow-up exam – thrilled to have made it two full weeks without putting anything in my vagina. Fortunately, because I followed the MOST IMPORTANT SAFETY TIP… EVER, my parts are healing up quite nicely… so I had to compliment my doctor on her excellent advice. “You know, I thought … Continue reading More on the Most Important Safety Tip… Ever<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-79","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-carnage"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/patandstacy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/patandstacy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/patandstacy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/patandstacy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/patandstacy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=79"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/patandstacy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/patandstacy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=79"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/patandstacy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=79"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/patandstacy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=79"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}