So if you’ve been sitting by your mailbox for the past three weeks waiting patiently for the annual Pat and Stacy Hanukkah / Solstice / Christmas / Boxing Day / Kwanzaa / Eid ul Adha / Politically Correct Non-Religious Observance / New Years card, please go back inside, warm yourself by the fire and crack open an ice-cold beer.
It ain’t coming in the postbox – it’s coming in your in-box – in part because the ink cartridge on our printer is dry and we’re too lazy to run to the store to pick up another and print out 40-something cards, sign and address them… oh, and we also realized that if you’d like to receive this missive before Martin Luther King Day … or Mardi Gras … or Presidents Day, we might as well get on it, so with out further ado…
Read the jump for THE 7 MOST INTERESTING THINGS ABOUT 2007 (in no particular order) by Pat and Stacy – or rather, Stacy and Pat (It’s my blog; I can take top billing)

7. Have you called Jenny yet? We did – or rather, Valerie did on our behalf – and Pat lost 25 pounds (now 20) and I lost 12 pounds (now 9). DAMN YOU, NEW YEARS IN LAS VEGAS! Seriously, Jenny Craig rocks out, and though you’ve seen her on TV and you think she looks good, Valerie looks even more amazing in real life. Pat and I just look less bloated than we used to, but we’re working on it. Sadly, we have come to the conclusion that once you eclipse 30 years of age, you cannot regularly polish off John Dalys, watermelon mojitos, gin-and-ginger-ales and sundry bottles of wine, while maintaining your svelte self. DAMN YOU, MIDDLE-AGE METABOLISM!
7. We refused to become a sad casualty of the real estate crisis! In other words, we’re not building our house in North Scottsdale because we can’t smoke enough crack to justify spending $1 million on a house that is not worth $1 million (unless you’re a builder with a crack habit to support). You can read more about this in my earlier blog entry “So You Wanna Build a Custom Home” . Suffice it to say, if you want to crash in Scottsdale, you’re sleeping in the guest room (not the casita) or on the couch (not on the 700-square-foot roof deck). Besides…
7. Our nephew rocks out! That would be Wolfgang, currently on tour as the bass player in his dad’s band. You should check him out if he comes to a city near you, but be prepared to shell out the big bucks because EVEN THE UNCLE AND AUNT-BY-MARRIAGE OF THE BASS PLAYER HAVE TO PAY FOR THEIR TICKETS. So far, we’ve seen him together in LA, Detroit, Phoenix, San Jose and Las Vegas (2 times). Touring with the band, Pat has seen him in Chicago (2 times), Boston, Washington DC and New York. We plan to go to New Orleans (Feb 8), Dallas (March 3) and New York (March 17). Suffice it to say, Wolf is a terrific kid who plays like his hair’s on fire and every time we see him, it makes us rethink our decision not to have kids. You can read about our antics on the road in my blog entry… Scott Simon is my bitch. The good thing about not building the house is that we can now afford to follow our nephew on tour!
7. Stacy and Pat bring new meaning to the term AGONY OF DEFEAT. Yes, we still participate in annual undertakings of an athletic nature – see Mud Run and 7 Summits, and I think our dear friend Rockin’ Bob best summed up the results with this comment: “Do you see a very cool pattern here? First, pick a crazy thing to do designed for Marines, Sherpas, Grand Canyon guides, Flying Wallendas, or Fire-Walkers. Make sure it is something your two-faced friends such as yours truly would not think of doing for a nano-second, but would say, “hey, cool,” (meaning, “are you nuts?”). Also make sure it is something designed to destroy your previously most-traumatized body parts — knees, toes, fingernails, etc. Repeat several times, “Oh, yeah, I can do that — piece of cake — I’ll train and I’ll be in shape by then.” Avoid any training whatsoever. Prepare the day before the event by wearing yourselves out, ingesting hangover-producing substances, and getting no sleep. Arrive without some crucial piece of gear or information. Allow yourselves to be egged on by the crazy little guy in your head, or else your (apparently sadistic) significant other (who will probably spend the day chillin’ at A–hole’s Garage with a Bud and some gumbo). Never entertain the thoughts “Discretion is the better part of valor,” “Live to fight another day,” or simply “F this. I’m sleeping in, having an omelette, and watching that AC/DC DVD.” Begin Bataan Death March. Live to tell the tale — hilariously.” … Yep, that about sums it up.
7. The Krewe of Helios-Arizona celebrated its 5th Anniversary – and Stacy received a bullhorn, likely the most painfully redundant gift ever bequeathed upon a person with no inside voice. Hundreds will curse the name of Cynde Cerf this year when she reigns over – OR IS IT RAINS DOWN – upon the gathered hoard at KOH-AZ Mardi Gras VI. (February 2 – read our invitation)
7. Pat finished 3rd in his first and only race of the 2007 Championship Cup Series motorcycle racing season – which also happened to be the final race of the year. Sure, it’s a step down from the fabled banks of Daytona, but losing that 25 pounds also helped him drop a few precious seconds on his lap time. Look out, 2008!
7. Milestones… Stacy’s career as a public radio salesperson (7 years) has now eclipsed the time she spent as a sportswriter (and she’s not looking back) … Pat celebrated his 15th year at Gannett (who’da thunk it?) … Dr. Alexander is awesome … Coolidge and Winslow no longer chew the baseboards … Stacy was 3-for-4 as a matchmaker in 07 … We spent some quality time with great friends (old and new) – Toni & Chris P in Portland / Bobby-Matt and Angie on Tour / Uncle Tater at the Midget Bar / Seester at CANAL (with Bill and Joe and Patrick) / Jeffro and Gina in Detroit / David-Squared at Google and the Hotel De Anza and the soundbooth / Rockin’ Bob genuflecting at Dick Dale and rockin’ out with VH at Friends + Family and Phoenix / Kellee and Kristi on various trails and Ray, Suzie, Gianni, Tyler, Danny, Donny and the whole hee-haw gang (except Stone) at the track.
Thank you all for being great friends and being a part of our extended family. Here’s to an amazing 2008!