Dazed and confused don’t begin to describe how I feel about my experience at the World Series of Poker. But here goes: It’s like taking the SAT naked in front of a live studio audience.
Things you need to know before you think about entering, courtesy of my friend Mike Sochacki and my own surreal experience: EVERYONE is a good player. They play fast and aggressive and they know exactly what they’re doing, and they will eat you alive if given half the opportunity. Truly, I’m still not so sure what happened, but I think I am missing a few limbs. Here’s me when I still had chips…

I won three hands over the course of two hours and folded about 800, got involved in maybe 10 hands total, including that fateful, final open-ended straight-draw against Mr. Eurotrash. Best hand I had all day was a pair of kings and I made $300 off it: With the blinds at $25 / $50, I was facing a raise of $150 and a caller, so I re-raised to $600 and chased them both out of the pot. Yes, a MAJOR overbet, but I was so damn nervous I barely could choke out the words. Instead of the authoritative: “Raise $450,” I squeaked, “I’d like to raise again please to $600, please.”
And could you PLEASE pass that trash can so I can vomit.
Technically, I reached my goal of making it to the first break because the tournament director called the break while my hand was still in play. With only $1,725 left of an initial $3,000 in chips, I went all-in on an open-ended straight draw, with a 4-5 off-suit, and a 5-6-7 in spades on the board. Mr. Eurotrash looked at his cards once again, and I read him for a flush draw, so I figured I needed to make a move and take down a pretty good-sized pot of about $600. He had the ace of spades, 7 of clubs, and I had plenty of outs: any 5, any 4, any 8 except the 8 of spades, and any 3 except the 3 of spades. Guess which card hit on the turn? The 3 of spades.
Yes, my tournament life had ended, but I would play the hand the same way again: Because people are so aggressive and because you start with so few chips relative to the blinds, you need to make moves to build your stack. About 20 minutes before, I laid down an A-9 with an A-J-4 on the board after the other short stack check-raised me all-in after a pot-sized, $700 bet. He showed me his A-Q, to my great relief. Have fun with those chips, my friend!
The guys at my table were super-nice and complimented me on my play, which was incredibly generous of them – because I was SO freakin’ nervous. I thought I’d settle down after we played a while, but even this morning, my stomach is still doing flip-flops as the tide of adrenaline recedes and the cocktails I had last night slosh around. I didn’t drink during the tournament, but neither did I eat – not the funnest way to lose weight.
Fun moves: I won the first hand I played (and folded about 800 hands). With the blinds at $25-$50, I played the Tami Simmons special – an A-7 off-suit – on the button and raised to $150 after two limpers had come into the pot and I took down $175. Hooray. On the whole, I was disappointed in myself because I played pretty passively – I called pre-flop much more than I normally do. I usually like to raise when I get involved in hands, but each hand, it was all I could do to keep track of how big the pot was, who was involved, what position were they in, what size was their chip stack relative to mine, relative to the blinds and relative to the pot, why he bet that way, what his history of betting was, which hands had been showed down, what he might have and why couldn’t HE WEAR DEODORANT OR AT LEAST SHOWER BEFORE THE TOURNAMENT?
Yeah, that was nice. The event really is the WORLD Series of Poker. At my table, we had a Canadian, a Czech, a Eurotrash of indeterminate origin and two Frenchies to my right who wafted their eau de body eau-dor my way all morning. No wonder I thought I was going to hurl. From my vantage point, I could count only six other girls at the tables surrounding me – so I was definitely in the minority.
My friend Mike Sochacki (who played in last year’s tournament too) finished in the top 50 percent and he too went out on a bad beat – made a move with two overcards and got beat by a pair of 10s. Poor Phil Guana lost on his first hand after the break: Pair of Aces – he got called all-in (HOORAY) and the guy made trip-kings. (ARGH) Phil and I finished in the top 74 percent – not exactly anything to write home about, but we were under 2,000th place out of a sell-out starting field of 2,700. I’m also proud to say I was not the first person out at my table. Three others went before me! Hooray!
Afterward Mike, Phil and I consoled ourselves with cocktails and bad-beat stories and grinded the gears of our brains on the blackjack table: OH COOL, I HAVE A PAIR OF 6s – THAT’S A DECENT STARTING HAND… But not if the dealer is showing a King! D’oh!
So will I come back next year? Absolutely. I learned a lot at the World Series – mainly not to confuse luck with skill, to play more aggressively pre-flop and to wear deodorant at all times.
Thank you all for coming along for the ride, and most importantly, thank you to my sweet husband Pat for supporting me in my crazy hobby. I love you, Buh!