Dazed and confused don’t begin to describe how I feel about my experience at the World Series of Poker. But here goes: It’s like taking the SAT naked in front of a live studio audience.
Things you need to know before you think about entering, courtesy of my friend Mike Sochacki and my own surreal experience: EVERYONE is a good player. They play fast and aggressive and they know exactly what they’re doing, and they will eat you alive if given half the opportunity. Truly, I’m still not so sure what happened, but I think I am missing a few limbs. Here’s me when I still had chips…

Continue reading World Series of Poker: The Recap →

Don’t know what to say except everyone here is smarter than me.
It’s scary. Phil Helmuth was 2 tables over from me. I lost when my straight got beaten by a flush. Fortunately I finished in the top 2,000… Not that it’s very good… but that millions of other players weren’t here, and a total of 2,700 REALLY good players were. … Mike & Phil finished shortly after me so I feel bad for them. And I console myself with “But at least I played.” Now I’m going to eat a big steak…

Lucky boots… CHECK.
Clean underpants… CHECK.
Skanktacular sportswear… CHECK.
WSOP Registration… CHECK.
Table Assignment. Amazon Blue, No. 38, Seat 3… CHECK.
Holy SHIT this place is huge! Not only does it take 15 minutes to walk from the front desk to the convention center, the room is literally the size of a football field and lined with poker tables. No flash photography – learned that little tidbit a little too late, but they were nice enough about it. Lining the halls of the convention center are chair-massage stations, souvenir stations, food kiosks and information stands for “THE OFFICIAL VITAMIN SUPPLEMENT OF THE WORLD SERIES OF POKER.” From the air quality surrounding many of the players, I thought that was Vitamin 2-C (Caffeine and Cigarettes). They have mini tournaments going on throughout the day, for those who haven’t dropped enough coin already.
What have I gotten myself into? T-minus 2 hours, 11 minutes and counting.

It’s not the smartest thing I’ve done with $1,500, but it’s certainly the most interesting.
I’ve entered the World Series of Poker, Event 27 – No Limit Hold’em. No Rebuys. No Add-ons. Yes, this is the same World Series you see on ESPN at all hours of the morning – but it’s not necessarily the same tournament. It’s not the $10,000 buy-in Main Event – if I had a spare $10,000 lying around, I could think of a lot more creative things to do with it than play cards… Then again, you could say the same thing about a spare $1,500, but at least I have a chance to win a coveted World Series bracelet, and I get to test my skills against the big boys.

Continue reading I Got Your Pair Right Here: The World Series of Poker →

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Created by OnePlusYou –

This, from a woman who got her ass kicked by a 5th-grader in a poker game on Sunday night… but so did 25 other full-grown adult males (including his dad) and 2 more adult females… so I don’t feel too bad, well, not really.
But next time, Alex, don’t think you can scare me with that BB gun you’re buying with your winnings. I have no moral compunction against using your 45-pound buddies as human shields or even grabbing some Brownies by the pigtails and deploying them as a shrieking set of tween-nunchucks.
It’s ON, punk! It’s ON!