Hello, my name is Stacy… and I watch American Idol.
It’s not something I’m proud to admit – it’s easier, in fact, to confess that my favorite South Park episode of all time is ‘Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset,’ but after what I witnessed on Tuesday and Wednesday nights, I’ve decided to come clean… in part, for what American Idol has revealed to me about myself…
BEWARE: I’M ABOUT TO SAY SOME POLITICALLY INCORRECT AND EXTREMELY OFFENSIVE THINGS BELOW THE FOLD, SO DO NOT CONTINUE IF YOU WANT TO MAINTAIN YOUR FOND FEELINGS FOR ME

Continue reading Stacy’s American Idol Blog, aka The Apocalypse is Nigh →

FWAAAAP!!! POTATO POTATO POTATO POTATO! brupppp…. brupppp….
To the average redneck, these are the sounds of angels on high. To me, they are the farts of overly expensive and pathetically useless pipes. I hate Harley-Davidsons. I hate choppers. I hate faux-Harleys and RUB bikes. To put it bluntly, I hate Biketoberfest.
PUH-ta PUH-ta PUH-ta ta ta ta ta… FWAPP!! FWAP! potato potato potato
For the past five days, my sweet husband Patrick and I have been embedded in Daytona Beach, Florida – the World Center of Racing, the Birthplace of Spring Break, and right now, the highest concentration of redneck chrome in the known universe. As you may know, Patrick is racing motorcycles this weekend – and a lot of you, whom I refer to lovingly as “THE REST OF US” probably think a bike is a bike is a bike. Two wheels is two wheels? Right?
FWAAPP! BWWWAAAH… BWWWWAAAAH… burrrrgle burrrgle burrrrgle burrgle…
Wrong. At 2 o’clock in the morning when they’re revving their ridiculously underpowered engines outside your window, THEY ARE MENACES TO SOCIETY. Yesterday, we left the comfy confines of the timeshare for the … charming … and LOCALLY OWNED Aqua Terrace Motel. It was really a cute place, if you have a good sense of humor about these things. If it were in Scottsdale and were renovated, it would be the ultra-hip Valley Ho. But it’s in Daytona during Biketoberfest – and if you don’t already know how I feel about Biketoberfest, read on…

Continue reading WHY I HATE HARLEYS, CHOPPERS, CRUISERS & THEIR ILK →

Greetings from Daytona, Florida — birthplace of Spring Break, NASCAR Nation and a whole lot of retirees (who were born a long, long time ago in far, far away cities on the northeastern seaboard).
Periodically, I have endeavored to share with you, the 15 people that actually open and READ my unsolicited e-pleadings, certain anthropological discoveries that I have unearthed (see All About Hip-Hop). Today our lesson takes its heading from the more than 100,000 two-wheel enthusiasts who have descended upon this fair city to ride, ride, pose, ride, eat, ride, drink beer, ride, buy ride-related accessories, ride, drink more beer, ride, pose and ride some more.
For those of you that think Sonny Barger* is a jazz saxophone legend, read on, my friends… read on:

Continue reading All About Bikers… Or Aye, There’s the RUB, You Squid! →