The bartender says, “We have a drink named for you.”
And the zombie replies, “Great! I’ll have a Stacy!”
And that was the beginning of my first day of the undead: Two 12-hour slogs on the set of the nephew’s new music video, THE END, where I got to work with legends of the big and small screens. Check out my casting slouch in my audition for special effects wizard and Walking Dead director / executive producer Greg Nicotero.
“What do you want to do?” Greg asked. Vampire or zombie? Kill or be killed?
“I want it all! I want to be a vessel for your viscera!” I squealed, and he made my undead dreams come true: Two confirmed kills with three assists, plus I got to rip fake flesh from a victim and bathe in her fake blood.
“What have you done to your hair?” Greg asked, as he pulled the blood-soaked strands from my half-eaten cheeks. He sent the wrangler over to mist my rotting skin and restyle my stringy coif. Rookie mistake: Apparently you don’t have to get fake blood all over yourself to make it look real. They take care of that in post production.
The answer to your first question is: No, that’s not makeup. It’s a mask, and it was surprisingly breathable. The zombies and vampires that wore makeup endured three hours in the stylist’s chair and had to keep it on the whole time. I could take the mask off at will, but given that it was so comfortable – and that I was having so much fun jump-scaring my husband, my nephew, his wife, his mom, his bandmates and friends – I kept it on most of the time.
I had to stay in character.
The answer to your second question: Yes, it’s hard to be a zombie. I am not a professional actor, though I do have an IMDB page, and I am related by marriage to an Emmy Award-winning actress, bona fide Food Network Star and America’s Sweetheart emerita. That said, I have a fairly good idea of what it’s like to portray a middle-aged marketing manager, and I have observed pilates instructors, chefs de cuisine, computer programmers and legit rock stars to such a degree that I could conceivably play one on local access TV.
But to be a flesh-eating bit player in a million-times-viewed rock video that’s an homage to Robert Rodriguez’s cult classic From Dusk Till Dawn with a hat tip to Michael Jackson’s Thriller and nod to Van Halen’s Hot for Teacher?
Let’s just say, I was having trouble with my motivation.
What should have been eating brains was for me a knee-shaking case of: “HOLY SHIT! THAT’S GREG NICOTERO, DON’T EMBARRASS YOURSELF! OH CRAP, THAT’S ROBERT RODRIGUEZ! LOOK AWAY BEFORE HE SEES YOU! OMG! OMG! OMG! THAT’S DANNY TREJO! I WONDER IF HE BROUGHT US DONUTS AND TACOS?“
And that’s why Greg was there: To teach us living how to be undead – to thirst for tibias instead of tacos. In every scene, Robert would direct the live actors, and Greg would direct the dead. That might mean that my sister-in-law would be punching out my flesh-eating compadres while my niece-in-law, Draia “The Slaya” Van Halen, would be smashing vampire’s heads into a table. Meanwhile, I and my fellow horders would be crouched in split squats behind barstools and guitar amps, just waiting for Greg to say the magic words: “MONSTERS! ACTION!”
Then we’d jump up, attack, feast, attack more, feast more and wait for him to yell “CUT!”
Typically we launched about five attacks per scene – two rehearsals and three takes – for back-to-back leg days (with some necks, arms and shoulders chomped on for good measure). Split squats and burpee jumps notwithstanding, it’s hard to be a zombie. The flesh-eating melee in the mosh pit had to look REAL!
I mean, if I’m going to feast on a hapless concert goer, I’m gonna take them down to the ground and pin them so I can nosh on their neckmeat. If you’re an unwitting victim and a zombie is trying to feast on your frontal lobe, you’re not gonna just sit on your barstool and take it. The problem is that if you’re a hungry zombie trying to grab a quick bite or the aforementioned victim trying not to get bit, you’re likely moving out of the camera view in a hurry – either down to the ground or away from the kill zone. And if you’re an unwitting victim, you don’t want to appear as if you’re wittingly expecting an attack when you hear Greg shout “MONSTERS! ACTION!” because what’s the point in having a jump scare if there’s no jump?
These are not things my pre-zombiefied brain considered while consuming all 177 episodes of the Walking Dead. Suffice it to say, I spent a lot of my downtime practicing my attack.
The answer to your third question: Horror is scary, but shooting that video was so much fun. So many times, people erupted into applause after Robert yelled, “CUT!” Especially when when Uncle Vampire-Pat bit Garrett the drummer’s head off (they have a history), producing the money shot of all blood spurts. Although my legs were throbbing and bruises healing a full three days after we wrapped, my cheeks hurt from smiling so much (not that you could see it under the mask).
The answer to your final question: Clearly, Uncle Vampire-Pat had his star turn, but where was Aunt Zombie-Stacy in the video? For those of you who don’t know his work (and you should!), Robert Rodriguez is well known for his fast-paced, quick edits – which is perfect for a high-energy rock video, but hard for people trying to find your favorite middle-aged rookie walker.
I know you were looking because the video didn’t make it to 1 million views in nine days without a little help from my friends, who likely blinked and missed me. Because so many of you have asked, I watched the video at .25 speed and put together my annotated highlight reel. Click on the top-right button of each time-stamped scene and enjoy… The End.
