LAISSEZ LES BON TEMPS ROULEZ! It’s Mardi Gras time!
Come one, come all to the Seventh Annual Krewe of Helios-Arizona Mardi Gras Parade and Party!
Saturday, February 21, 2009
4PM – 11PM
Pat and Stacy World Headquarters
24952 N. 74th Place
Scottsdale, AZ 85255
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Now most of you have been to one of our six previous adventures and already have the hang of how to celebrate Mardi Gras with the professionals from Louisiana. (Rule 1: don’t take off your clothes. SERIOUSLY. Do NOT take off your clothes.) But since many of you are NOT from the Pelican State and only have drunken recollections from college friends and “Girls Gone Wild-New Orleans” videos to go by, we’ve included the following handy guidelines for how to celebrate Mardi Gras the Krewe of Helios-Arizona way, aka – how you can get fed, fill up on hurricanes, avoid choking on plastic babies, score lots of beads and survive with your liver intact (though slightly compromised). Please read on for the wholesome goodness, aka What can you bring?
SO WHAT CAN YOU BRING?
1) Yourself, a lawn chair, an ice chest and anything you might want to drink that is not a hurricane. We provide hurricanes, some soft drinks and water. If you want to drink beer or wine or other, please bring some to share.
2) Your appetite: We will ply you with homemade Krewe of Helios-Arizona turkey and sausage gumbo, authentic Sicilian muffalettas (while supplies last), bacon-jalepeno-garlic-cheese grits (true Southern delicacy) and vegetarian / Kosher red beans and rice (pretty much everything else does have a pork product in it.) To top it off, your delectable dessert will be a real, direct-from-New Orleans king cake – which looks like a nuclear bomb went off in a donut factory, but it’s real tasty – and it gets the kids super hopped-up on sugar, which is fun for HOURS of entertainment.
3) Your kids: Yes, the Pat and Stacy World Headquarters is a lot like Willie Wonka’s Chocolate Factory – we only open it up to people under age 18 once a year and this is that day!!! We have a real parade and we throw real Mardi Gras beads and the young people seem to love that, along with the king cake. This really is a family event for the first three hours. After the sun goes down? Not so much: Two words – ADULT PINATA. (And no, we’re not bashing adults over the head with a broomstick). So arrange for an evening sitter, bring the kids for the parade, get them hopped up on king cake and then dump them with grandma (or a surly teenager) while you and your spouse enjoy a quality date night of debauchery.
4) Your sense of creativity: If you participate in our parade (it’s not hard, people – just tape some colored paper on your car, truck, wagon or motorcycle), you will receive an official Krewe of Helios-AZ T-shirt, which matches Stacy’s tattoo. You will also be entered in our “Best in Throw” contest which involves valuable prizes and merchandise. Plus you get to throw beads at the collected masses while you drive around our cul de sac about 7 times. In fact, I think we’ll probably do seven historic laps this year in honor of our seventh anniversary. Then after we finish up, you’ll come inside to mack down on all kinds of cajun goodness.
5) YOUR COMMON SENSE… This kinda goes without saying, but our hurricanes are FEARSOME (just ask Christine or Ryan or Deb) and our house is no where near the light rail or a bus stop. (They have buses in North Scottsdale?) Please keep that in mind as you make travel, drinking, driving plans, i.e. Don’t drink and drive. We have couches available for those who imbibe too much and we’re happy to call a cab. Know that if you sleep on your couch, you might awaken to a big sloppy wet kiss from one of our two dogs – which might be better than waking up alone – but I digress. Also, WE STRONGLY RECOMMEND THAT YOU LOCK YOUR PURSES IN THE TRUNKS OF YOUR CARS. We are anticipating about 100 people, and while we know, love and trust our friends and family, there are ALWAYS people here that we don’t know. We’ve never had any issues in the past, but it’s best to be on the safe side.
6) YOUR SENSE OF PUNCTUALITY: Every year, people show up 2 hours into the party and every year, they complain that ALL OF THE FOOD IS GONE. Sorry, people – we have the parade at 4 and then our friends, who can devour a spread like a swarm of locusts, descend on our kitchen and clean us out. THE ONLY WAY TO GET FED IS TO ARRIVE ON TIME AND HAVE FUN AT THE PARADE. You have been warned. No whining.
*** SPECIAL NOTE FOR YOUNG PEOPLE OVER AGE 18 BUT UNDER AGE 30 (aka Stacy’s Classmates) ***
We know you’re wondering: Why on earth start a party at 4 and end it at 11? It’s because we’re OLD. One day, you will be too, but trust me, until that day, it’s our party – we can start it whenever we want. By 11 PM, we will have been going for 12 hours, and fortunately, we don’t have to drive home. So, no, we’re not lame – we’re just seasoned. Consider us your “pre-party” – come early, grab beads, eat some food and be on your way, because if you show up after 11 when Stacy’s in bed, you will feel the sting of all the punishment that your coddling parents have denied you, lo these many years.
We hope to see you there! Questions? Send Stacy an email at firstname.lastname@example.org OR check out our handy new comment function!!!