Loosen up those bead-grabbing muscles and start training your tastebuds for pain: The Krewe of Helios-Arizona Mardi Gras Parade and Party is upon us! King Ryan and Queen Cynde Cerf Dehmer invite you to join us for the VIth Annual Mardi Gras in Arizona Extravaganza! – ONLY THE BEST FREE PARTY YOU CAN ATTEND THIS STOOPID BOWL WEEKEND (and we don’t lie, it’s the best party… ever)
Krewe of Helios-Arizona Mardi Gras Parade and Party VI
Saturday, February 2, 2008 (Yes, we know it’s the day before the Super Bowl and the Saturday of the FBR Open – it’s not our fault those idiots can’t consult a calendar and figure out when Mardi Gras is)
3 PM – 11 PM (or until Stacy gets tired and cranky and kicks everyone out!)
AND WHEN WE SAY 3 PM, WE AREN’T KIDDING. THE PARADE WILL START AT 3, SO TO SECURE YOUR PLACE IN LINE, ARRIVE EARLIER, like say, around 2:30 PM (But please, don’t stay later)
Krewe of Helios-AZ World Headquarters
24952 N. 74th Place, Scottsdale AZ 85255
View Larger Map“>(Handy Google Map)
For those of you who’ve been there before but whose memories have been wiped out by our fearsome Hurricanes… or for those of you who’ve never been there before, but want to act like you have: Please read the jump for handy traffic tips / alternate routes, parking advice, parade etiquette, dress codes, and arcane pieces of Mardi Gras trivia that might just save your life!

Continue reading You’re Invited: Krewe of Helios-AZ Mardi Gras Parade, Part VI →

As if the calendar weren’t crowded enough already, please mark yours for SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 2 – yes, the day before the Stupid Bowl – for the KREWE OF HELIOS-ARIZONA MARDI GRAS PARADE AND PARTY, VI!!!
(We figured we’d start listing the years in Roman numerals since we’re coinciding with the Stupid Bowl – but for those of you who never made it through Latin, VI means 6, or ‘six’ as the case may be.)
For those of you who don’t live in Scottsdale and haven’t been bombarded by the Stupid Bowl Countdown (T-minus 59 days {LIX} and counting, as of this posting), the highlight of your weekend (that would be our party) coincides with the busiest day at the Phoenix Open Golf Extravaganza (only V miles to the south) and a flurry of surgically enhanced Official Stupid Bowl parties (which cost upwards of $CC per ticket and to which you’re probably not invited anyway – imagine that, 200 = 2 C-notes!)
So come party with people who know how to have a good time (and won’t require you to meet a dress code – we just require you to REMAIN clothed)
THE KREWE OF HELIOS-ARIZONA (the only official Mardi Gras Parading Organization in Arizona)
HEREBY OFFICIALLY INVITES YOU AND YOURS (and yes, your kids – but sadly, not your dogs)
TO PARTY LIKE (aunts-by-marriage-of) ROCK STARS
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 2, 2008
3 PM – 10 PM (or whenever we kick your butt out – isn’t VII hours enough time to consume free food and beer? And, yes, we’re starting earlier this year, to accommodate for Phoenix Open traffic, and we will be publishing alternate routes, but we’re too lazy to do it right now)
AT THE KREWE OF HELIOS-ARIZONA WORLD HEADQUARTERS
24952 N. 74TH PLACE
SCOTTSDALE AZ 85255 (google map to come later – or look it up yourself)
And please, don’t blame our MMVIII King and Queen of Mardi Gras – the honorable Ryan and Cynde Cerf Dehmer – they had nothing to do with the scheduling. Sadly, Van Halen was not willing to alter their tour schedule to accommodate a better, non-Stupid-Bowl-Weekend date for us (and no, they’re not playing the party – Uncle Pat will be on tour with them during the more appropriate and less crowded, more desired date of January XXVI! Sorry about that…)
Come on out, drink some beer, PARTICIPATE IN THE NEW-FOR-MMVIII ADULT PINATA (no, it’s not X-rated, you just have to be XXI to play), eat some AMAZING gumbo (that has been featured on the Rachael Ray Show), drink more beer, eat more gumbo, catch REAL MARDI GRAS BEADS (PLEASE, don’t take off your clothes), and participate in our parade (if, and only if, you arrive early because it doesn’t take that long to drive VI cars around a cul de sac).
We’ll have more details as it gets closer – we just wanted our name on your dance card!
Laissez les bon temps roulez,
Pat and Stacy Bertinelli
Founders and Captains, Krewe of Helios-Arizona

Take the quiz from my favorite show – and tell me who YOU are!

Mardi Gras Etiquette = Biggest Oxymoron Since Non-Alcoholic Beer.
Truly, Miss Manners would blush – scratch that, FAINT – at some of the goings-on in New Orleans (just ask Stacy about Mr. Self-Service Man). But that’s not to say there aren’t a few basic rules of order we can follow to ensure everyone has a fun parade and we aren’t hit with any major liability lawsuits. So if you haven’t joined us for any of our previous four outings, please READ ON…

Continue reading All About Mardi Gras Etiquette… →

Friends, Arizonans, New Orleans Saints Fans: Lend me your cheers!
The Krewe of Helios-Arizona wants YOU to join us for our FIFTH annual Mardi Gras in the Desert Parade Extravaganza!
WHEN: Saturday, February 17, 2007
START: 4 PM, parade step off – and if you’re not there, you’ll miss it.
END: When Adam falls on the cactus – around 10 PM
WHERE: The Krewe of Helios-Arizona World Headquarters
24952 North 74th Place, Scottsdale
(corner of Happy Valley and 74th Place, two blocks east of Scottsdale Road)
If you’ve been with us for any of our 4 previous outings, you know the drill:
Arrive early. Grab adult beverage. Elbow your way into a good bead-catching position on the parade route. Drink adult beverage. Listen to Stacy’s pre-parade holler. Refill adult beverage. Wait for parade floats to get into position on the cul de sac. Drink adult beverage. Covet Pat’s very cool New Orleans Saints beads. Salute Mardi Gras Queen Michelle and King Scott Page as they take lap-after-historic lap around the cul de sac. Catch beads. Keep your clothes on. Finish adult beverage. Predict when floats will run out of beads so you can sprint to the front of the line for gumbo. Realize you’re not the first to think of that bright idea and get in line for gumbo. Send reinforcements to refill adult beverage while you hold your spot in line. Keep standing in line for gumbo. Complain because we ran out of muffalettas. Marvel at how 125 people can fit in a three-bedroom, two-bath house. Eat your gumbo. Refill adult beverage to put out the flames in your mouth. Ask what the heck a “King Cake” is. Avoid choking on the plastic baby interred therein. Wash down king-cake flavor with adult beverage. Mock the late-comers who are scraping up the burnt dregs of red-beans-and-rice off the bottom of the pot. Refill adult beverage. Stand around outside visiting with folks you only see once a year. Drink adult beverage. Laugh as Adam falls in the cactus. Consider refilling adult beverage, then take another look at Adam and said cactus. Find a ride home. Wake up on Sunday. Take aspirin.
Laissez les bon temps roulez!
(Which is French for, ‘let us know if you’re coming’)
Patrick and Stacy Bertinelli
Captains, Krewe of Helios-Arizona