So every year, we cook a big slew of food for Mardi Gras. Every year, our friends descend on our kitchen like a swarm of locusts and devour our gumbo, red beans, muffalettas and grits in less time than it takes Jim “It Burns! It Burns!” Cox to say, “DAMN, THAT’S HOT, PASS ME SOME MILK!”
And every year, people defy our warnings (Don’t park there, Brownie!): They show up late, forlornly look at the dregs of red beans, try to scrape some grit-shards off the pan, and whine because the food’s all gone. And then, they spend the better part of the evening asking about a fabled mythical beast known as the “muffaletta” – because they’ve never seen one, let alone tasted one, because they arrive late after all the food is gone.
Wonder why that is? Probably because our Mardi Gras spread is so damn good. Our Krewe of Helios-Arizona Gumbo is so good, in fact, that it has been featured on national television – via the Rachel Ray Show – thanks, Val! And because the mission of the Krewe of Helios-Arizona is to spread Louisiana culture throughout the Southwest (thereby enhancing the gene pool), we’d like to share with you our very own recipes – painstakingly rendered so you don’t hurt yourself in a feeble attempt to imitate our greatness.
Please know that if you have any questions while you’re attempting one of the following, you’re welcome to call us and ask for help. Just don’t call while the roux is on the burner. Here are the links to our recipes – along with color commentary.
THE KREWE OF HELIOS-ARIZONA GUMBO RECIPE: After many years of requests and many months in the Pat and Stacy World Headquarters Test Kitchens, we finally posted the official recipe back in May. Problem is, I created a cool graphic of how dark the roux actually gets, but you can’t see that graphic unless you’re on a Mac. So, get a Mac. Otherwise, follow the trusted “penny” rule – it’ll never let you down.
We really have nothing to add to the Gumbo recipe, except for one small thing: The version we posted is for human consumption – if you’d like to add a Pat-sized kick to it, we recommend purchasing some Blair’s CAJUN DEATH RAIN and adding one tablespoon of Cajun on top of the other spices. If you want to feel like Jim “It Burns! It Burns!” Cox, buy some Blair’s NITRO Death Rain and add LESS THAN A HALF-TEASPOON to the pot. Do not say you weren’t warned about the NITRO.
JALAPENO-BACON-GARLIC-CHEESE GRITS aka WHY WE LOVE OUR BROTHER-IN-LAW GENE with vegetarian variation
OUR UNDER-ESTIMATED BUT OFTEN APPRECIATED RED BEANS AND RICE aka YOUR INTRODUCTION TO CAULDRON COOKING
THE MOST AWESOME AND ETHNICALLY OFFENSIVE SANDWICH IN THE UNIVERSE: MUFFALETTAS WITH WOP MIX
Now, enjoy our food and laissez les bon temps roulez!
Category Archives: food
OUR UNDER-ESTIMATED BUT OFTEN APPRECIATED RED-BEANS-AND-RICE aka YOUR INTRODUCTION TO CAULDRON COOKING
OUR UNDER-ESTIMATED BUT ALWAYS APPRECIATED RED BEANS AND RICE: My friend Hollie once commented that I really don’t cook anything that doesn’t involve a large black pot or cauldron, and I think she’s right. Pat and I don’t make a lot of red beans and rice for recreational consumption. Our argument is, if you’re going to spend 4 hours over a hot stove, might as well go all the way and make gumbo. That said, tackling red beans and rice is a great way to ease yourself into cauldron-cooking. Like grits, red beans have a wide margin for error – it’s pretty hard to screw them up; they freeze well and they’re relatively inexpensive. Plus, you can make them vegan, vegetarian AND KOSHER (thanks for the heads-up, David P). Or you can add sausage and make them… well, you can make them with sausage which is second only to bacon in my book for pork-product goodness. We’d like to recommend the andouille sausage from Schreiner’s on 7th Street just north of Osborn in Phoenix – locally owned, all good. A word of warning before we get started: Some people will say you should buy kidney beans, but we prefer small red beans. It’ll say so on the bag: “small red beans.” I think kidney beans impart a slightly tangier flavor that doesn’t merge well with spices, and I think the red beans cook more evenly and quickly, but that’s just me. So without further ado…
JALAPENO-BACON-GARLIC-CHEESE GRITS aka WHY WE LOVE OUR BROTHER-IN-LAW GENE (with vegetarian variation)
JALAPENO-GARLIC-CHEESE GRITS WITH OPTIONAL BACON aka GENE’S FAMILY RECIPE WITH A SLIGHT MODIFICATION – My wonderful brother-in-law introduced our family to this delicacy on Thanksgiving 10 years ago, and suffice it to say, we show our gratitude to Gene and his garlic cheese grits every year and offer thanks to him for unveiling this truth: GRITS, THEY’RE NOT JUST FOR BREAKFAST ANYMORE. Pound for pound, grits are the cheapest, most delicious way to feed a herd of people, and you can modify them to be vegetarian (with eggs and dairy) though not quite kosher. So here goes:
THE MOST AWESOME AND ETHNICALLY OFFENSIVE SANDWICH IN THE UNIVERSE: MUFFALETTAS WITH WOP MIX
Ever since we introduced this item, it has become the must-have gnosh on the Krewe of Helios feedbag parade. That probably has to do with supply and demand – we supply only 48 of them. Yet more than 70 people demand them. Ergo, it’s wise to drive or ride in a parade float so you can get in the front of the line and grab one of our amazing, unforgettable, clearly incredible and sublimely edible…
KREWE OF HELIOS-ARIZONA MUFFALETTA SANDWICHES – These are Italian sandwiches that originated in New Orleans. In some parts of the country, they serve ’em cold. We like ours warm because there’s nothing like cheesy goodness melted just so with a slight crunch to your crusty bread. Now our traditional Mardi Gras recipe makes 48 slider-sized sandwiches, and I was tempted to be mean and give you the recipe for 48 because the uncanny math makes EXACTLY 48 sandwiches with nothing leftover. But I’m not that mean (just ask my husband). So here’s how you make just one… that can serve four – and please note, vegetarians and members of the Tribe, if you ditch the meat and cheese, you could survive on Wop Mix* and bread alone…
Thanks for Coming Out! Krewe of Helios-Arizona 2009 Recap
On behalf of the Krewe of Helios-Arizona – the only Mardi Gras parading organization in the Grand Canyon State – we’d like to wish a hearty “THANK YOU” to the more than 70 revelers that joined us for our seventh annual Mardi Gras parade and party: You came, you saw, you grabbed beads, you ate gumbo, you drank hurricanes, you withstood the verbal onslaught that is Stacy’s bullhorn and you lived to tell about it.
For those of you who couldn’t make it, well, there’s always next year: Mardi Gras 2010 is Tuesday, February 16. Though we’re too tired to establish an official date for KOH-2010 just yet, you can safely mark your calendars for either Saturday, February 6 or Saturday, February 13.
But before we get too far ahead of ourselves, let’s relive some of the pageantry and excitement of Krewe of Helios 2009! (Much more after the jump – including photos! Woo-hoo!)
Continue reading Thanks for Coming Out! Krewe of Helios-Arizona 2009 Recap