If you have a Y chromosome and live in Arizona, pay attention:
(Aside to Ross: Having a Y chromosome means you’re a dude – FYI.)
The Arizona Senate is scheduling a re-vote on HB2625 – the bill that would allow any employer to opt out of covering contraception through their insurance plan for “moral or religious” reasons, requiring an employee (or their spouse) to approach the insurer directly with an affidavit showing the woman needs hormonal birth control for reasons other than pregnancy prevention, because the insurer of the morally objecting employer won’t have to cover contraception for pregnancy prevention.
Please note, Arizona already has a law on the books that allows religious institutions such as churches to opt out of contraception coverage when it is in direct opposition to their religious teachings. HB2625 would expand this exemption to any employer for any moral reason.
The bill was defeated 17-13 in the Senate on March 28 when seven Republicans joined Democrats in voting it down – but it’s not dead yet. Those seven Republicans need your help – and so do the ladies.
I married one of my best friends on Friday.
Actually, she married her fiancé, about 3 years and 3 months after I introduced them, set them up on their first date and then took them on their first date. On Friday, I just closed the deal – officiating their wedding ceremony in my new role as a licensed minister.
The Pastor of Disaster. The Sinister Minister. The Right Reverend of Wrong – I answer to them all, because I am – as of October 11, 2011 – a fully ordained, licensed minister, authorized under Title 25, Article 3, Section 125 of the Arizona Revised Statutes to perform a marriage ceremony in the Grand Canyon State.
I don’t hate Tim Tebow.
I hate the 43 percent of Americans that believe God helps Tim Tebow and the Denver Broncos win.
I hate the 62 percent of sportswriters who have leapt onto that bandwagon. I also hate the 31 percent of non-sports media outlets that started flailing their arms and chasing after said bandwagon as it pulled out of the station when Tebow hit wide receiver Demaryius Thomas on an 80-yard touchdown pass to seal an overtime victory against the dreaded Pittsburgh Stealers last Sunday.
I also hate 100 percent of the CBS Sports broadcast team of Jim Nantz and Phil Simms who compromise Tebow’s virtue by shamelessly fellating him during their weekly two-hour gusher of infinitely insightful color commentary.
And since I’m driving the bus on the highway to hell anyway: Any god that intervenes in a professional football game – in direct contradiction to his Ten Commandments – is not a God I want to worship.
The National Football League has set the record for most meaningless records on a single Sunday afternoon.
Previously held by Major League Baseball, the NFL worked hard all season long to capture the record, bringing a fresh crop of Ivy League-trained statisticians off the bench in the fourth quarter of the AFC Wild Card playoff game on Sunday to clinch mark for monumentally meaningless marks.
It’s Saturday, May 21 at 8:53 PM Pacific Time. If you’re reading this from the comforts of home, welcome to the Apocalypse! Thanks for coming out!
Yes, the Apocalypse looks a lot like the Prepocalypse, except our friends at the nonprofit Family Radio Network aren’t here with us – at least I hope not. According to them, today was the day the Lord was gonna call the Chosen home, if you believe 89-year-old civil engineer Harold Camping, who treated the Bible like his own personal version of The DaVinci Code.
Now, I don’t blame the Rapturian Candidate for trying. Surveying the landscape of End Time Signs, I could be easily persuaded:
- The New Orleans Saints won the 2010 Super Bowl.
- Oprah Winfrey taped her last show on Tuesday, May 17, for broadcast on May 25: Did she know something we didn’t?
- Our so-called liberal-softy president just took out Osama bin Laden – and for the record, our president is black and is a US citizen.
- Sarah Palin just closed on a house in my Scottsdale ZIP code.
Taken together, I can only come to one conclusion: WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!